Monday, January 02, 2006

I am a racist pig

I am racist pig. I am also a sexist, insensitive bigot… and so are all of you.

Have you noticed how rampant discrimination is in this divided country? I mean, I'm no hypocrite, but white supremacists are just tearing this place apart. Look a little further into the weavings of our society and I'm sure you'll notice the excessive prejudice that haunts us constantly.

If I were to become the Prime Minister of New Zealand, you would count on some sweeping changes. First off: radically reforming discrimination laws. This program, titled 'Operation Sensitise', will seek to remove hurtful items from our communities. A walk down any street will showcase millions of examples of these. Take a look at popular culture. Go count the number of females and non-whites in The Beatles. How about the All Blacks? Not a single female or physically challenged member. Supermodels? They are extremely unrepresented in the horizontally ample and aesthetically challenged. My program is going to change all of this, with absolute efficiency. Maybe.

The next step, after implementing all of that, is to install world class standards of recognizing correct, and incorrect specifications in our people.
The parents and older generations of today were brought up in an era where political correctness was not a concern. (What a shame). Racist attitudes were rife here and around the world until recently, when reforms have meant this ideas have had to change, or stay at home.

BUT, I wish to take this even further. If these ideas are spoken at home, there is the chance of potentially offending a trespasser or burglar dropping in. For the sake of that possibility, we must be considerate of all the feelings that could be hurt.
Naturally, we need a method of enforcing the correct behaviour in our citizens. Is it really so much to ask that children should be encouraged to turn their disgraceful parents into the authorities? Or that we install security cameras everywhere to ensure no laws are broken? Both of these methods are predicted to increase the number of criminals being caught by over 350%. Well worth the cost, do you think not?
Getting back to my point of correct specifications. I am fighting a war here, for us all to be equal. But remember, we are equal… but different. We are equal… thoug some are more equal than others.

Take feminism, which has been around for quite some time now, with courageous lesbians fighting for equality with their male oppressors. Equality… with those hopeless, pathetic forms of life they scowlingly call men. And they were right all along. Women are more equal and correct than men. Any study on differences between the sexes will gladly show all who care to look everything that females can do better than males. (And the rest isn't relevant).
But don't just think there's only one attribute of 'more-equality' in humans. Being a race of tolerant egalitarians, we recognize the valuable contribution each and every individual makes. However, in addition to your sex, you must also be of the correct race, the correct religion, the correct opinion and overall, be a correct member of society.

So congratulations. If you are a 32 year old Christian Maori women who agrees with everything I say and have nothing absolutely nothing distinguishing about you, you are the most correct person in the country.
Don't worry about the rest of you. I hate you all equally so.


Anonymous Anonymous said...


12:32 PM  

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home